The result of a message exchange with one of my crit partners. I was trying to figure out what one of my beta readers was telling me, and had become somewhat discouraged. She advised, jokingly, that I run some various types of analysis on the feedback I had received to find the hidden meaning. Below is the reply I sent:
So I converted all the text to ascii code and determined the average character for each position. Next, I combined alternating values and re-averaged, removing outlying characters (a’s and z’s) in an effort to get at the core meaning, the ultimate pearl of wisdom, that piece of advice that shone out more strongly than anything else. I needed that hidden meaning behind all the words that y’all have given me. What deeper purpose was buried in the responses to the words I wrote? I had to find it.
The formulas grew. Excel crashed. I rewrote the firmware in all my hardware to distribute the load across multiple platforms. Screens flashed. Servo motors screamed their protest. The lights dimmed. Only the glow of LCD displays lit my face as I stared frantically, searching for the answer.
Then the screens went black. The motors fell silent. Data poured back to the computer from throughout the lab. Finally, the answer Pam promised was hidden in the critiques would be mine! What was that core truth? Would I get the answer I was looking for? The answer I needed? The ultimate truth that would shine light upon my otherwise darkened soul?
The words scrolled across the terminal emulator on my screen…
“chinese for lunch”
Eureka! Pam, you’re a genius! I even have $12 in my pocket. The fates have been proven, and I am off for an early lunch!
I feel better already.